Cockroach
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: Elizabeta knew Roderich couldn't handle cockroaches but didn't expect Gilbert, of all people, to pussy out. So she ends up showing him just what she could do. HunLiech, PruAus, Rated T.


"Dude, when are you going to pay the fucking bill?" Elizabeta shouted from over the couch.

"Well, first of all, help me with the damn money jar and maybe we don't have to just watch the black screen all day!" Gilbert retaliated from the kitchen. "It's not even showing anything! What's the point in watching it, huh?"

Elizabeta saw no point in the argument she started. Was this her fault? Apparently, since her paycheck was due next week; both the boss and Elizabeta got pissed at each other over who knew what. And was that her fault she wanted to look prepared rather than strut out awkwardly late inside the restaurant? No, she thought bitterly, I wasn't wrong at all! Tips for a waitress sucked, no one was generous anymore. People were assholes not giving her anything in return, even if she treated them with extra kindness. She scoffed whilst the TV remained. Elizabeta had wasted her kindness for no reason.

Out of nowhere from the other side of their apartment began the sound of piano playing delicately soft. Smiling she listened with a careful ear and thought of other ways to get money. Maybe she could get a new job? But nothing was available nor up to Elizabeta's standards. That idea was crossed out. Elizabeta should work for Kiku and help translate his manga! But she might be too busy staring at the...precious moments between two boys rather than writing what they said during these...precious moments.

Despite enjoying the moment and her mind growing with ideas, Gilbert voiced his opinion aggressively, bugging Elizabeta to a new core. Putting up with his complaints for many months was a miracle currently running thin…

"Why aren't you working now?" Gilbert shouted accusingly, busy doing something Elizabeta didn't pay attention to.

"Why are you still here instead of working?" Elizabeta retorted bitterly with a slight smirk.

"It's my day off! Don't I get a chance to enjoy my day offs instead of arguing with you over the damn power bill? I can't ask for a loan, it'll-"

Elizabeta finally looked over the couch and said with mockery, "Oh, it'll cut off your beer buying…! Ever heard of 'sacrificing'?" The piano was growing increasingly louder with every sentence spouted from their lips.

Gilbert's cheeks reddened and bellowed violently, "WE ARE NOT SACRIFICING THE BEER!"

"SACRIFICE IS MEANT TO BE PAID," shouted Elizabeta. "SO WILL YOU DO IT OR NOT?" She returned her head to watch the black TV screen.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID—"

"I HEARD YOU, I'M SAYING WHAT—"

"HUH?" Cupping her ear she tried to hear it again but the piano grew oddly louder.

"RODDY, BABY, WILL YOU TURN DOWN THE PIANO ALREADY?"

Suddenly, Roderich's piano ceased its raging loudness to a quieter tone ever so dramatically. Roderich had either heard their yelling thus furiously grew the piano's tone to shut them off or he played a piece involving such loud beats to a softer sound. Nevertheless Elizabeta was grateful for her cue to leave, even though Gilbert wasn't going to finish his argument until Roderich finished his music. Elizabeta quickly left the small living room and headed for her bedroom. Throwing herself on the messy, unkempt bed, she laid lazily flat on her stomach and with her phone in hand began looking through messages.

The only new message she saw was from Kiku. He asked if she could translate his latest manga chapter—he promised there was no smut, so that disappointing. Either way she replied with a 'k' and that was that.

Maybe I'll take a nap…forget all that just happened… Tossing her phone nearby her pillows, she snatched one of her purple-colored pillows and rested her head comfortably. But then Roderich's music began fading, diligently yet faintly whilst Elizabeta's eyes lowered until it came to utter darkness. Abruptly, her phone rang and automatically her hand reached it, looked and to her surprise, saw Lili messaging!

Quickly, Elizabeta began typing. She typed like a super-gooey happy high-schooler girl; it wasn't so terrible. Deep down she knew she should look through papers for a job or win that futile argument against Gilbert, but she rather spend with Lili.

The Elizabeta asked if she was free this afternoon. She wanted to get out of the apartment and needed some fresh air. Lili was there, as it said on Elizabeta's half scratched, half messy screen and noticed Lili writing back. Before Elizabeta could read she heard a screech so penetrating and loud that it literally spooked her enough to jump out of her bed. Immediately, her legs carried her quickly out of her room and into the living room and witnessed a strange sight: Roderich was standing on top of the kitchen counter, holding himself fearfully whilst staring down at the floor. He shivered like a tumbling flower and when Elizabeta looked down, she saw a cockroach.

This is it? A cockroach?

"Eliza, get rid of it!" Roderich shrieked.

"Dude, it's just a-"

Gilbert suddenly came in the living room and asked, "Hey guys, what's going-" Then he saw what was on the floor and froze in horror.

"Gilly, get it!"

" _FUCK_ NO, YOU GET IT!"

Next thing anyone knew, Gilbert was charging over to the kitchen, barely missing the twitching cockroach, and went on top of the kitchen counter with Roderich. He held onto him like he was the best defense and accidentally pushed him but caught Roderich before he fell. Elizabeta just remained there, speechless.

"Guys, it's just a fucking cockroach!" Elizabeta went over to the cockroach which remained in place, took her fingers at its antennas and picked it up casually. Roderich and Gilbert screamed and held onto each other tightly. "Fucking really?"

Elizabeta would have thrown the cockroach out their apartment if she had not felt the sudden urge to tease Gilbert for that argument... So out of nowhere, Elizabeta threw the cockroach like trash over to the kitchen counter where it landed near their feet and almost attempted to crawl on their feet. But the two adults jumped off of the counter and ran for it.

Quickly, Elizabeta picked the bug's antenna before it scurried away and ran for Gilbert's way for fun. Gilbert, who was sprinting down the narrow hallway, found himself trapped at the end of the corner with only the room next to him, but unfortunately it was occupied by Roderich refusing to let him in. Gilbert frantically tried twisting the golden doorknob whilst watching back from the door to Elizabeta creepish-ly walking down the hall with a crazed smile and the cockroach ready to be thrown.

"Gil...bert..." her voice sounded eerie with death lingering at the back of that voice of hers. In other words, she was acting fucking crazy.

"ROD, OPEN THE DOOR!"

"No!" shouted Roderich from the other side, holding the doorknob with all his might. "After you nearly got me killed, this is your punishment!"

"NO, NO, NO-!"

Then she stopped, just a few steps close to him and demanded, "Unless you stop annoying me while I still live here, I won't throw this on you."

"How dare you threaten me like-" She almost leaned toward him and he looked fearfully at the cockroach. "Okay, okay, I'll never bother you again!"

And with that, Elizabeta backed away, turned around and left the narrow hallway to dispose the cockroach. Going over to the living room and to the TV where the window nearby was opened, Elizabeta took the cockroach out and threw it in the air and shut off the window, preventing it from coming in again.

Then suddenly, Elizabeta heard from her bedroom her phone ringing loudly and went to get it. Once she got to her room and picked her phone from the bed, she saw it was Lili and answered it right away.

"Eliza, are you okay? I was trying to get you to text but you wouldn't answer so I got worried and thought I should call you!" Lili's panicked voice really caught Elizabeta off guard, but she eventually spoke.

"Sorry, I had to take care of this cockroach for Gil and Roddy..."

"Really? I had no idea you could handle bugs, I can't, but I had an idea that those two at least would..."

"Well I guess they-WAIT, LILI, YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"Cancel my appointment with the restaurant tomorrow!"

"I don't understand..."

"I know what I should do for a better job! I should be a bug exterminator!"

"...Eliza, are you serious?"

"Yes, I just threw a cockroach away with my fingertips and shit! I could get money and stuff! So, uh, what did you want to do?"

"Oh, I just wanted to know if we can go now...the date, I mean."

"Sure, I'll meet you soon at my place." And with that, they hung up and Elizabeta was smiling.

She heard Roderich and Gilbert arguing but didn't care. Not only would she spend the rest of the peaceful afternoon with Lili, she would make a bad-ass bug exterminator that will blow everyone's socks off.


End file.
